What the Flags REALLY mean

	GREEN FLAG A race is under way. Turn 1 get your catcher’s mitt ready. Turn 1 duck and cover. Turn 1 you know what to do. Turn 1 take your lead from start.
	YELLOW FLAG Standing Yellow -- Take care, Danger, Slow Down. Ole hot shot has spun off or couldn’t pull far off track. No passing! Car off track. When the helmet goes on the driver's brain goes off. Driver has spun off track or is stuck off track. Waved -- Great Danger, Slow Down, be prepared to stop. No passing ole hotshot is now back on tack but is stalled pay EXTRA attention…. Absodarnlutely NO PASSING! OH CRAP, Car On track is stopped…. Go.. go please get the engine started… crap… Drivers watch out we got a car and a worker on track!!!
	BLUE FLAG Another competitor is following you very closely or is trying to overtake you. This flag may be displayed standing or waiving CHECK your mirrors. (Just watch out when we do this to you and you’re the only car on the track.. Then we are having some fun!) Blue flag Waived: you’re slow and in the way and you’re about to get your doors blown off. GET BIGGER MIRRORS!! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!! You know you’re the slowest car on the track… you got the leader behind you, what you need bigger mirrors to see the leader?
	SURFACE FLAG Take care. Oil has been spilled, or a slippery condition exists, or debris is present on the racing surface. This flag is displayed standing. Ole hotshot there missed his apex ran off the track spat sand and gravel all over the place and you’re about to spin in it. Driver broke something by going off-roading, while entering back on track left a trail of dirt, sand and oil. Crap now we're going to have to go clean up this mess at the end of session.
	WHITE FLAG Caution - you are approaching a slow moving race car (e.g., with mechanical trouble), ambulance, or other emergency vehicle on the racing surface. Heads up, you're approaching a MUCH slower Vehicle. Proceed with caution. Do not Stop!! Watch out, the slower driver is in front of you, along with a tow truck that is needed to pull another driver off the middle of the track.
	BLACK FLAG Black, Open - Proceed directly to the pits for consultation with Officials. DO NOT TAKE ANOTHER LAP. YOU DUMMY! You just cut off half the field as you over braked to the inside of turn one, rammed two cars and proceeded oblivious to anyone or anything! Come in for a little chat about playing well with others. THAT MEANS YOU. Yes YOU. The driver of the car that played pinball with your car bouncing off half the field. While blocking the other half the field that needed to pass you because you are the slowest car out there. You NEED to have a little talk with the stewards…HAHA they’re going to yell at you for being an idiot!!
	MECHANICAL BLACK FLAG There is something mechanically wrong with your car. Proceed to the pit at reduced speed. You know where all that smoke and oil came from? YOU!!! Go to the pits and get it fixed!! YOU Broke it… that mess is from your car! Now thanks to you, us workers have got to go out there and clean it up… Get your CAR to the pits and get it looked at!!
	CHECKERED FLAG You have finished the race (or practice/qualifying session). Continue cautiously to the pits. Thank you, thank you, thank you, another session is in the books! Remember to wave to the corner workers as you pass them. NO WAVE, NO SAVE!!!! YEA, thank you for a great race. Although we may have yelled at you, it was really a fun race. Don’t forget to wave… hey big shot. YEAH YOU!! NO WAVE, NO SAVE!!
	RED FLAG EXTREME DANGER - THE SESSION HAS BEEN STOPPED. Come to an immediate, controlled stop at the side of the race track. Ole hotshot, in his attempt to break the lap record on the 1^st lap, has wiped-out at turn one, is on his head, on fire, and eating up precious track time. Please pull over while we get him out of the weeds. Alert, Alert, holy crap ALERT… so the driver was trying to see how fast the car would make it on the straightaway, forgot that there was a turn right after… Breaking late while turning, rolled the car on the track and started a fire… with the pack two turns away…. Pull your car over while the workers work at getting the driver out, who is mad 'cause he broke his car.